


Shadows and Hearthlight

by Leonidas1754



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Consensual Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, Lahabrea doesn't know what a libido is, M/M, Masturbation, No beta reader we die like mne, Possession, Soul Sex, Thancred is done, The sex is consensual the possession is not
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:49:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23150473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leonidas1754/pseuds/Leonidas1754
Summary: Thancred has a rampant libido, something Lahabrea wasn't exactly aware of or ready to deal with when he possessed Thancred. Lahabrea also doesn't really realize what actually needs to happen, so he orders Thancred to take care of whatever it is so the arousal stops bothering him.Thancred would really rather not do this with an Ascian possessing his body, but there's not much he can do about it. Chaos ensues.
Relationships: Lahabrea/Thancred Waters
Comments: 19
Kudos: 67





	1. Lightning and Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blame Neila_Nuruodo, this is entirely their fault that I am on this bullshit. Also go read their series Burn the Page for Me, it's good if you like LahaThan stuff.
> 
> Bold is Lahabrea speaking internally, Italics is Thancred.

Lahabrea was satisfied with current events. Sure, the Scions had escaped the clutches of the Garleans with the help of their beloved Warrior of Light, but their capture was never part of his plan to begin with, and revealing his possession of one of their members had been quite the blow to their morale, that much was clear. Now, it was getting late, and his borrowed body needed rest. The mortal had been rattling the bars of his metaphorical cage quite violently as of late, not that it took much effort to keep him contained.

The bunk the Garleans had given him was small, but suitable, and Lahabrea laid down, folding his hands over his stomach. He intended to simply sleep, and to put the nuisance to sleep while he was at it, but a strange itch soon began crawling under his skin. He sighed, brows furrowing. It was a returning feeling, whenever he wasn’t occupied with something else, there was that itch, growing more and more incessant with each passing day. A heat, and  _ ache _ followed it, a pit in the stomach reminding him of pure, primal hunger, and it seemed familiar, in a way, but he could not place it, no matter how he wracked his memory. It was only growing worse, though, and if it continued, it would only be a distraction.

Lahabrea turned his mind inward, toward the entrapped former owner of the body he resided.  **‘You should cease your thrashing. You’re more likely to injure yourself than have even a sliver of chance of regaining control. Or would you rather be snuffed out entirely?’**

Thancred, on the other hand, felt he was going to go mad, trapped within his own body. He could see, he could hear, but he couldn’t feel anything except for the soul entrapping his own.

The Ascian didn’t seem to note it at all, but Thancred could  _ feel _ it, as if his skin were being constantly chafed against. Struggling, or making as much of an effort as he could, made the sensation more intense, but he couldn’t sit and do nothing. Not as he saw his friends get captured, the people he worked with die, or Minfilia- Gods, the sight of Minfilia’s face when she saw him. Damn Lahabrea, whatever his intent was.

Thancred had no intent of stopping, but as they settled down for the night, he could feel a shift in the Ascian’s mood, in a way, and at those words, he suddenly stilled, a bolt of fear running through him. Of course he hadn’t forgotten the position he was in, but having it spelled out so was a touch sobering.

_ ‘I’d rather have my body back,’ _ Thancred said- or was he simply thinking? He couldn’t speak aloud, of course, but it was hard to tell how these matters worked. He’d never considered being a soul without a body, and except for the lack of physical touch of his body- replaced by a different sort of touch-like sensation, it seemed- he felt almost the same. Almost.

Lahabrea scoffed.  **‘You waste your energy. Containing you is trivial. Your time would be better spent helping me, in this instance.’**

Thancred could feel his own hostility raise like hackles.  _ ‘Why the hells would I help you with  _ anything _? The only thing I would help with is your demise at the hands of the Warrior of Light.’ _

**‘You do realize that if and when they come for you, it may already be too late. I could have easily snuffed you out from the start. I still could, as well,’** Lahabrea told him, exerting just a touch of pressure on Thancred’s soul.

_ ‘I realize that perfectly well. And I am prepared to die, if it means stopping both you and your twisted brethren.’ _

**‘Good for you. Now help me.’** Lahabrea carefully tugged Thancred’s soul up, buoying him to the surface so he could feel his own body once more.  **‘Something is wrong with your body,’** he stated simply.

Thancred gasped, as much as he could without control, at the suddenness of the return of sensation. He recognized it instantly and wanted to curse aloud, but couldn’t. This was just fantastic.  _ ‘I have an active libido. That’s all it is.’ _

**‘Well, how do you handle it? I’m tired of feeling these sensations, they’re distracting,’** Lahabrea all but hissed at him.

Thancred paused. That was certainly not the response he’d been expecting.  _ ‘Do… Do Ascians not have a sex drive?’ _

It was Lahabrea’s turn to pause for a moment. There was an echo of something in the back of his mind, but he couldn’t place it. Reaching back was always a haze.  **‘Do not answer my question with another question.’**

Thancred winced. Oh gods, this was… He didn’t want to be in the situation of being possessed by an Ascian in the first place, but being possessed with his overactive sex drive and someone who didn’t seem to know what sex  _ was _ ? He didn’t really want to do this, but he wasn’t sure what Lahabrea would do if Thancred told him.  _ ‘I will deal with it, but… You need to let me do it. All I need are my arms,’ _ he added quickly, not wanting Lahabrea thinking he was making a particularly stupid attempt at regaining control.  _ ‘Just sit us up against the wall and give me control of my arms, and I’ll take care of it.’ _

Lahabrea assessed Thancred, considering him. It wasn’t exactly hard to tell that he wasn’t lying, but Lahabrea couldn’t place what was happening. This was the longest he’d ever been forced to hold onto a body, and was therefore harder to place what was needed. It was also the first he kept a host alive, as far as he could remember, at least. Mostly because he’d seldom needed them alive, considering the short time of keeping the body. A live one was easier to use, however.  **‘Fine. But be warned, mortal- the moment you try anything, I will stop you.’**

Thancred wished he could roll his eyes as Lahabrea sat them up. Carefully, he reached out, and he could move his arms on his own once more, as if putting on a pair of gloves. It made him almost giddy, and he hated that this wouldn’t last for long. He doubted Lahabrea would appreciate him dragging this out. And truly, Thancred did not want to be mastrubating while possessed, but he felt he had little choice. He knew his own libido, and if he did not satiate it even a little, it would grow monstrous in its hunger, and doing it himself was far preferable than letting the Ascian do it.  _ ‘Ah, one question- is the door locked? I’d rather have no visitors at the moment.’ _

**‘Of course it’s locked,’** Lahabrea replied, unable to keep a touch of confusion from his voice.

Thancred sighed internally and reached down, tugging the robe up. He could feel Laharea’s attention on him, though he tried to ignore it in favor of slipping his hand into the pants and pushing them down, pulling his cock free. He was already going to have a difficult time of it as it was. Still, he grasped his own cock, firmly stroking it to bring it to hardness.

**‘What are you** **_doing_ ** **?’** Lahabrea asked, feeling a strange sensation of almost… pleasure. He could still feel the sensations of the body, as well as sense whatever Thancred was feeling. As of the moment, though, he was simply sitting back, soul a veritable ocean compared to the miniscule raft being supported that was Thancred.

Thancred groaned, not from pleasure, but from exasperation. He really wasn’t going to be able to ignore Lahabrea, was he? Fantastic.  _ ‘I don’t know if you Ascians have it, but us mortals have something called a libido. It’s our sexual drive. For some, it’s not very active at all, and for people like me, we basically have to do this almost once a day to keep from feeling that bothersome way you were complaining about.’ _ Really, even if Ascians didn’t have a libido, Thancred felt Lahabrea should have figured this out by now, after being around mortals for hells knew how long.

Lahabrea was perfectly prepared to call him out on any lie, but none came. Simply more sparks of enjoyment as that hang glided up and down Thancred’s member.  **‘Is… it supposed to feel like that?’** he asked, unable to restrain his curiosity.

Now Thancred almost felt bad for the guy.  _ ‘Yes. It’s one of the simpler and less pleasurable ways to take care of it, but it’ll deal with that itch, and I don’t want you messing with my body in other ways,’ _ he added grumpily. He used his other hand to reach down and massage his balls. To his surprise, Lahabrea spread their legs a little more, giving him easier access.

Lahabrea watched in a strange sort of wonder. Hunger and exhaustion, these he could understand. Hunger reminded the body to intake the necessary nutrients to run, exhaustion was a signal that rest was required. But this, Lahabrea could not place why something like this would be needed, or why some mortals might not need it at all while others like his current host might need it near daily. And even if he wanted to ignore it, he simply couldn’t, his soul filling Thancred’s body as thoroughly as it did. He was suddenly glad for the buffer he’d placed between himself and Thancred, for not only being a shield for the mortal to be unable to read Lahabrea as Lahabrea read him, but for this as well. He felt a strange embarrassment at the idea of Thancred being aware of how good he felt.

Thancred tried not to be worried about how Lahabrea had gone strangely silent. He simply stroked himself a bit faster, hoping to get it over with sooner. He wished deeply that he could properly indulge. He could feel the sensation against his soul, too, no longer chafing, but firm and cool. It had to be the change in how Lahabrea was handling his soul, but he tried not to think of it too much.

Lahabrea tried to keep himself grounded with thoughts of aetheric theory, but that only led him to comparisons of the sensations he was feeling. It was as if lightning aether were coursing through their shared body, or fire pooling across the skin. Even if he wasn’t experiencing it as intensely as Thancred was, it was hard to deny the effect of the seemingly simple actions. But perhaps… 

While he was no expert in the matters of bodies, he was far more familiar with the mind and soul, whose presences were not as unlike that of the body as mortals seemed to think. Carefully, Lahabrea took in the sensation of pleasure, committing it to his memory, before drawing the experience in thin, sharp lines over Thancred’s very soul.

Thancred’s entire body jolted in response, and Lahabrea could feel the pleasure rebound back into him twice as intensely. Thancred groaned, moving his hand faster.  _ ‘What… What did you do?!’ _ he shot at Lahabrea when he was able to form the thought.

**‘Testing something. Even if the body is unfamiliar to me, it is simple to exert such a concept as this feeling unto your very soul,’** Lahabrea murmured. He felt a strange sort of excitement at the results of his experiment, and an echo deep within him once again. There was no time to ponder it, though, especially not with what Thancred thought to him next.

_ ‘Can you do it again..? I’m so close,’ _ Thancred murmured, a mix of mortified embarrassment and shame washing through him. He was far past the point of no return, however, so perhaps he could simply suck it up and enjoy what was happening.

Lahabrea had no idea what Thancred meant by being ‘close’, but he was certainly happy to repeat his earlier action. He carefully dragged the aetheric sensations across Thancred’s soul, as if painting it on his skin, and Thancred responded intensely.

Lahabrea was certainly not prepared for what occurred next, however. Thancred stroked himself faster from the pleasure being pressed upon his soul and suddenly came, unable to do anything other than cut off his own vision and enjoy the ride. The intensity of it swept Lahabrea into blind sensation as well, from both the orgasm and the rebound of the pleasure he impressed upon Thancred.

Thancred panted hard in the aftermath, suddenly finding himself in full control. He would have felt victorious if he could do anything with it. As it was, he could only sit and try to catch his breath, riding the remaining waves of what was the single most intense orgasm he’d ever had.

Lahabrea’s concentration had broken, barely able to retain the protection shielding Thancred for accessing his thoughts as he floundered to regain his grip on his senses. After a few moments, he realized he’d given up control and reached up, slowly wrapping his formless energy around Thancred.

Thancred resisted the urge to whine as he felt himself pulled down and out of control of his body again, though there was something far more delicate about it this time. He could feel Lahabrea’s soul around him once more, but instead of being chafingly caged, he was being… cradled, almost. A caress over his skin sent a little chill through him, but not in a bad way.

**‘Do you need to do more?’** Lahabrea asked, seeming strangely docile.  **‘If you do, I will need a moment…’**

Thancred considered it. After all the energy that took from his body, Thancred doubted he’d be able to complete himself even if he were able to cum again.  _ ‘Perhaps in the morning, after resting, but not now,’ _ he told Lahabrea.

**‘Good. Stay still for a moment…’**

Lahabrea managed to wiggle them out of his black robe and kick the pants off, retrieving them only to wipe away the strange white substance that had come from Thancred’s member. He paused in the cleanup for a moment, a thought occurring to him.

**‘Your sex drive, does it have to do with your mortal reproduction?’**

Thancred was a bit startled by the question.  _ ‘Well… I guess you could put it like that, yes. We have sex to reproduce, though it’s different for everyone. The sexual drive, I mean, and it’s not the only factor.’ _

**‘I see now. It is still a strange thing to me.’** Lahabrea laid their body down, managing to drag the blanket up before turning inward once more.  **‘It also may explain why mortal souls so cling to the concept of flesh even after they no longer fill it…’**

Lahabrea’s soul around Thancred’s was as if being swaddled in warm blankets, and the only reason Thancred didn’t laugh was sheer incredulity. Of  _ course _ he got the Ascian that not only didn’t know about sex, but was also a post-orgasm cuddler. Because the gods obviously wanted him to suffer for his hubris in thinking he could possibly fill Lousoix’s shoes.

Still… Perhaps he should simply enjoy the sensation. It wasn’t as if rejecting it would do him any good. So Thancred did his best to relax into Lahabrea as their eyes closed, and he could feel himself drift into deep, deep sleep.


	2. Dealing with Thine Enemy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God I'm a mess. This is going to be a WIP for a while, I've got plans for deep into the canon, it's just a mess to write and with ShB who knows what's going on there, aAAAAAAAh

Lahabrea slowly woke, reaching out and taking hold of the body around him. It was getting easier with time, and without that damnable itch. What had Thancred called it? His libido?

Speaking of Thancred… It seemed the smaller soul was still fast asleep within, deep in Lahabrea’s embrace still. It made Lahabrea feel strangely flustered, in a way. Lahabrea didn’t bother even opening his eyes, instead simply turning over onto their stomach to get more comfortable. It wasn’t as if he had much to do today, after the fiasco of the Scions’ escape yesterday. The Scions would need to recover, and he genuinely didn’t feel like doing anything anyway. The memory of the previous night was still fresh in his mind, and he was truly curious.

He carefully lifted Thancred’s soul up, looking him over again. It was a trivial matter to comb through his memories once more without rousing him. This time, he didn’t look for Thancred’s experiences with the Scions, but these… sexual encounters. Any memory with similar pleasurable feelings as what Lahabrea had experienced through him last night.

There were quite a few of these sorts of memories, he quickly found. They started a little over a decade and a half into his life, which made sense. The first encounter with another, however, was a few years later. Thancred, young and still stumbling over his own feet with a young woman with soft black hair tugging him along into a dark alley from some sort of event that had music and people in the street. Thancred being pushed against a wall, the girl getting on her knees-

_ ‘Ngh… What time is it…’ _

Lahabrea was snapped from his concentration on Thancred’s memory by Thancred rousing from sleep. He set it aside for now, caressing over Thancred’s soul.  **‘Not sure, I have not bothered with getting up. Not much to be done, today.’**

_ ‘Oh. Right.’ _ Thancred’s tone was that of resigned realization, as if recalling Lahabrea was there. He simply shifted somewhat in Lahabrea’s grasp.  _ ‘So what are you up to, if not pursuing some strange aspect of your Ascian goals?’ _

**‘I was perusing your memories related to your sexual drive. I am curious to learn more aspects of it.’**

Thancred snapped far more awake at that.  _ ‘What?! Stay out of my memories! What the hell, why would you do something like that?!’ _ As if he wasn’t feeling violated before.  _ ‘How much did you see?’ _

Lahabrea was confused. Thancred didn’t seem particularly flustered, just upset.  **‘I mostly went in order of your life, and had delved into the first time you were with another. I did not get very far prior to your waking, however.’**

_ ‘Good. Stop, just. Stop.’ _ Thancred felt queasy.  _ ‘That is not okay. At all.’ _ He was very, very aware of the fact that he couldn’t stop Lahabrea even if he wanted to.

Lahabrea, however, was just confused.  **‘It would be the fastest and easiest way for me to learn more, though, wouldn’t it? Especially since you’ve stated you’d rather me not do anything with your body.’**

_ ‘Do you even know what consent is? By the gods…’ _

**‘Consent is a mutual agreement to do something, is it not? I don’t see what that has to do with this.’**

Thancred was going to retake control of his body specifically to scream his lungs out. Of course Lahabrea was clueless. Gods, why, why this, why him.  _ ‘Y’know what, dying sounds great right now, maybe I should do that instead.’ _

**‘I could certainly indulge you, if you truly wanted, but you haven’t answered my question.’** Lahabrea was definitely getting the sense he’d done something wrong. While it certainly wasn’t the first time upsetting Thancred, considering the possession of his body and capture of his friends and whatnot, but those were understandable, at least.

_ ‘Just wait a fucking minute, okay?’ _ Thancred needed to calm down, and blessedly, Lahabrea went quiet and let him be. He focused on a mimicry of deep breathing, which at least worked well enough to help.  _ ‘Okay. First question. Do you know what consent typically refers to when in reference to sex?’ _

**‘I’m guessing no, if it’s something different than the basic definition of the word.’** Lahabrea pulled Thancred within, gently squeezing him.  **‘Is it to do with why you are so upset? You seemed to accept my doing so before when looking for information on the Scions, even if you did not like it.’**

Thancred shifted, hating how comforting Lahabrea’s action was. Souls betrayed far too much, truly.  _ ‘Okay. I’ll explain the consent thing first, because that’s really important to why I was upset. Consent in regards to sex is very important. It basically means being a willing participant in whatever’s going on. If a person doesn’t give their consent… It’s incredibly harmful.’ _

Lahabrea was mildly confused.  **‘So… Nothing else changes, just whether or not a person is willing? If they do not wish to participate, could they just… not?’**

Thancred winced.  _ ‘If the other participant is a decent person, sure. But just like you can go through my memories whether I want you to or not, it’s perfectly possible for someone to… force themselves upon another.’ _

**‘Ah… I understand. And you would regard my viewing of those memories as requiring consent, due to the sexual nature of them. I… am sorry.’** Lahabrea was almost surprised to find he meant it. He didn’t regret his actions, as he did so of genuine interest to learn, and it led to this important revelation, but harm was never a part of that intent.

Thancred quieted, doing his best to search Lahabrea. Of course, Lahabrea had done something to guard himself, so Thancred could not discern the veracity of his words. It was something he was quickly coming to despise, as at least with other people with bodies, he could read their involuntary body language to get some gauge on them. For this, it was entirely voice with some contact. Still… Thancred could figure no reason for Lahabrea to lie or fake an apology here. He didn’t need to keep Thancred tamed or compliant, lying gave him absolutely no benefit.  _ ‘... Just don’t do it again,’ _ he finally communicated.  _ ‘I don’t want you looking through those memories however you like.’ _

Lahabrea gently squeezed his soul again, keeping his handling gentle. He needed to think a moment on what he’d just been told, to process it and his own future action. Thancred seemed to settle down again, ruminating in his own thoughts. Finally, Lahabrea broke their mutual brooding.

**‘Thancred. There is a deal I would like to make with you.’**

_ ‘Does it involve you leaving and giving me back my body?’ _ Thancred asked, purely sarcastic.

Lahabrea prodded Thancred in his annoyance.  **‘No.’**

_ ‘Then I don’t agree.’ _

**‘At least hear me out, you petulant fool.’**

_ ‘Fine, fine. What is it.’ _

**‘I still wish to learn more about all of this. Sex, your libido, all of that. But you have made it clear that your say in the matter is quite important, while I hold your body. So I offer you this- You teach me in these matters, and I will in turn teach you on the subject of the mind and soul.’**

Thancred originally planned to reject the offer immediately, but as he listened, he found himself intrigued.  _ ‘Teach me of mind and soul? What, as in philosophy or something?’ _

**‘No, of the properties, how to better control yours, and the like. Do you recall what I did last night?’**

Thancred would certainly be blushing if he could.  _ ‘Of course. I don’t think I’ll ever forget.’ _

Lahabrea chuckled.  **‘I can teach you about how that works, among a great many other things.’**

_ ‘And in turn, you just want to learn about sex? You’re very strange, Ascian.’ _ Thancred couldn’t believe he was considering this. But truly, what did he have to lose? It wasn’t as if Lahabrea would gain a distinct advantage over the Scions, or anyone for that matter, by learning about sex. And he was offering some of his own knowledge in turn, which could be far more useful to Thancred regarding his current situation.  _ ‘Very well. I suppose it couldn't hurt.’ _

Lahabrea allowed himself to feel a slightly smug sense of victory at Thancred’s agreement.  **‘Good. I believe I should start, then. After all, you have just taught me something important.’** Lahabrea considered what to teach him for a moment before settling on something basic he might be able to do.  **‘I am going to cut off your senses to outside your body. This will require your focus to be entirely on yourself.’**

Thancred definitely didn’t like that. Then again, he didn’t exactly have much of his senses to begin with. Lahabrea still had their eyes closed, and there wasn’t much to hear.  _ ‘Fine.’ _

Lahabrea delicately disconnected Thancred from his very senses, surrounding him.  **‘Focus on yourself, on the core of your very existence.’**

Thancred could still feel the touch of Lahabrea’s soul, but he supposed there was nothing that could be done about that. Everything else was gone. Even Lahabrea’s voice had ceased to be a voice and was more as if the words were being placed within his thoughts. He was able to envision himself somewhat, as if floating in a void. What was it Lahabrea had said, about his soul clinging to the concept of flesh?  _ ‘What are we trying to achieve with this?’ _

**‘Your soul still mimics the shape of your body, despite your situation. Envision your soul as a substance that is liquid in its natural form. It is rigidly stuck in its state, and I would teach you to undo that.’** Lahabrea cradled him, as if cupping something in his hands.  **‘Relax, allow yourself to come undone.’**

The idea made Thancred anxious.  _ ‘And what will happen, if I do?’ _ The idea of unraveling his very soul from its usual state was quite alarming.

**‘No harm will come to you, if that is what you’re worried about. It takes far, far more than any mortal is capable of.’** The thought was bitter and resigned, and Lahabrea couldn’t hide it.

Thancred was surprised to feel such genuine emotion from Lahabrea, and tentatively reached out for him.  _ ‘Lahabrea?’ _

Lahabrea nudged him back down.  **‘Focus.’**

Of course he wouldn’t get any answers about whatever had given Lahabrea that attitude about the subject. He obviously knew what it took to harm a soul, and Thancred wanted to know, but then again, perhaps it was best if he didn’t. He focused on himself again, trying to envision it. So his soul was still in the shape of his body, but that was not the natural or best state for it? That was what Thancred could gather, anyway.

He allowed himself to relax into the hold of the Ascian. The question was that of how one form could shift into another. If it was still rigidly in the shape of his body, then it was a solid, and needed to shift to a liquid. Typically, that involved melting. So he tried to picture that. His edges melting away, slowly approaching inward.

Lahabrea watched in fascination as Thancred tried to do as he asked. It was incredibly slow, sure, but the fact that he was able to do it at all was fascinating. Granted, the method was a very simple concept, that of changing states of matter, but Lahabrea had found that most of these mortals had no concept of the separation of body and soul, and doubted most would have figured such out on their own.

Unfortunately, distraction came in the form of hunger. As much as Lahabrea was enjoying watching, the body needed food. Thankfully, the hunger didn’t break Thancred’s concentration, as his sensation was disconnected, so Lahabrea could get them up without worry of disturbing him.

He dressed himself in his robes, retrieving a spare pair of pants. Then he took Thancred’s body to the dining hall, hood up and clearly ignoring the soldiers around him, who wisely stepped out of the way. He retrieved an apple and a bagel, not wanting to spend any more time around these people than he needed to.

Unfortunately, his desire to return to quiet and observing the soul within would not come to fruition for the moment. Gaius strode toward him, clearly seeking his attention. “Ascian, there you are. We must needs speak on the matter of the weapon.”

Lahabrea sighed. “Allow me to nourish my vessel before withstanding your pestering,” he huffed, pointedly turning away from him. He knew he was being somewhat testy, but he didn’t care. Gaius was tiresome to deal with anyway.

“Fine. Meet me in my office once you are done.” Gaius turned and left, cape sweeping behind him.

“Tool,” Lahabrea grumbled. He didn’t want to deal with Gaius or anyone else today, really.

So he didn’t. Instead of teleporting back to his room or to Gaius’s office, he took his food to a cliffside overlooking the Dravanian hinterlands. It was a high up place, with few monsters and no people, overlooking the ruins of the old Sharlayan settlement. It was peaceful, and allowed him to return his thoughts inward while he ate.

Lahabrea let him be, but Thancred decided to break his own concentration.  _ ‘How am I doing?’ _ he asked, feeling strangely tired.

**‘Slow but steady. Do you feel any different?’** Lahabrea asked.

Thancred took stock of himself as best he could.  _ ‘I feel… looser, I suppose? More fluid, which I suppose is part of the point.’ _

**‘Indeed. It was fascinating to watch. I did have to move us, however, for food, and Van Baelsar wanted something from me. I didn’t bother meeting with him.’** Lahabrea took another bite of the apple.  **‘He’ll probably be angry with me, but I don’t care all that much. It’s not as if I’ll have to deal with him for much longer.’**

That wasn’t exactly a comfort to Thancred. Whatever Lahabrea’s plan was, it was coming closer to fruition.  _ ‘Lahabrea… What will you do with me, if you succeed? Surely you won’t need my body.’ _

Lahabrea paused, not having thought about it much.  **‘Hm… I’m not sure. I suppose I’ll just have to decide when it comes time. Perhaps I’ll simply keep you as a pet,’** he teased.

Thancred winced, feeling a bit queasy at the idea. Then a thought occurred to him.  _ ‘If… If I agreed to that, to let you… keep me, would you agree to leave the Scions alone?’ _

Lahabrea couldn’t help but laugh.  **‘If your dear friends weren’t so adamant about stopping me, perhaps I could agree to that. But you know full well that is not possible.’**

Thancred didn’t argue it. He knew it was quite the long shot, but he had to try. He would do anything to keep them safe, even if it meant all but selling himself, body and soul, to an Ascian. He felt gross.

Lahabrea sighed.  **‘Look at you, undoing all of your hard work. You’re practically back where you started,’** he muttered, caressing over Thancred’s distressed form.  **‘No matter what we may teach one another, there is nothing that may dissuade me from my path. You could never comprehend the importance of this task.’**

_ ‘It’s hard not to tense, knowing you look to destroy everything I know and love.’ _

**‘It would seem to me you mortals do a fine job of that yourselves.’** Lahabrea brought him up so he could see again.

Thancred went still, realizing where they were.  _ ‘Wh… Why did you bring me here?’ _ he asked, meaning to be accusatory, but just coming off as vulnerable.

**‘I didn’t. This is simply a place I enjoy coming to be alone. The decision had nothing to do with you. This is a place you once knew, though, isn’t it?’**

_ ‘I… I was very young. But I recognize it well. Or at least, I recognize what it used to be. It’s…’ _ He hated looking it over.  _ ‘It proves nothing. It wasn’t destroyed.’ _

**‘Mm, not in the traditional way, no. But the motherland abandoned this place, all of its treasures and relics and knowledge, at the first sign of conflict. They let all they built and worked for be destroyed because they would rather avoid war over any other option.’**

_ ‘There is nothing wrong with wanting to avoid violent conflict!’ _ Thancred bit back, feeling defensive of the people he’d come to call his own.  _ ‘Not all of us are warmongers, you know!’ _

**‘But sometimes, a violent conflict cannot be avoided. No matter what you do, how hard you plead and argue and bargain, you come to a choice- fight, or be defeated. Is that not why you are here in Eorzea now?’** Lahabrea asked, tone pointed.

Thancred had no response. As much as he hated it, Lahabrea had the right of it. He’d stayed by Louisoix’s side not only out of his debt, but ultimately because he agreed that abandoning Eorzea to the hands of Garlemald was foolish. And he could see Lahabrea’s point- looking out over the wreckage that was once a thriving colony, it was impossible to deny that all the Sharleans had built, they had also destroyed, simply because they refused to even consider any sort of conflict that could not be solved with words.  _ ‘I’d rather drop it, thank you.’ _

**‘Then let us speak of another matter- I would like you to try again, and this time I shall help you. Perhaps experiencing what you are trying to achieve on your own will help you.’**

_ ‘Alright,’ _ Thancred agreed, if only to focus on something, anything else. He went back to concentrating on his core again.

Lahabrea reached around him, channeling the aether through him. A simple combination of water and fire, with a touch of wind, stimulating his very soul into fluidity. Thancred felt as if he’d been turned to mush. There was a strange sense of weightlessness to it as well, and he could feel his very being tremble with the alien sensation.

It was kind of like how he felt after some damn good sex, if Thancred was being hoenst with himself. The very thought made him unreasonably flustered.

Lahabrea was confused by the reaction, holding Thancred as he remained fluid, but seemed almost as if he were trying to hide, not that there was any place to.  **‘Are you alright..?’**

_ ‘I’m fine, just…’ _ Thancred wasn’t sure how to explain it or if he even should.  _ ‘Is it supposed to feel like that?’ _

Lahabrea gently probed him for how he was feeling beyond the flustered emotion. He was hit with a light sense of deja-vu, though being on the other side of the question now.  **‘Yes, it is. Do you not like it?’**

Thancred felt mildly hysterical by the strange situation. Each time he thought things couldn’t get more absurd, Lahabrea proved him wrong without even trying.  _ ‘It’s like how your body might feel after being well and thoroughly fucked by someone, but far deeper within, and without the exhaustion.’ _

**‘How strange.’** Lahabrea moved against Thancred, feeling him tremble.  **‘Perhaps that which we wish to teach one another are not quite so different subjects.’**

_ ‘I can handle this, I can, I just- I need a few moments,’ _ Thancred managed, trying to gather himself up again. Gods, if he had contact with his own body, it would doubtlessly be responding to this. Curse him, curse Lahabrea, curse his own libido and sexual leanings.

Lahabrea shifted, feeling the warmth involuntarily flood their shared form. With Thancred responding so strongly to the simple sensation, it had leaked into Lahabrea and while it did not seem strange or sexual to him, it did not stop Thancred’s body from responding in kind.

Chuckling, Lahabrea assessed the form he resided in. All of the heat had gone directly to the abdomen, though there were strange little shivers up their spine as well.  **‘Perhaps I shouldn’t have done that. You’re responding strong enough to leak through to both me and your body, which is responding in kind, by the way.’**

Thancred winced.  _ ‘I’m not trying to do this, it’s not my fault!’ _

**‘I never said it was. Your bodily reactions are clearly involuntary.’** Lahabrea paused.  **‘Would it be alright if I tried what you did last night?’**

_ ‘Tried what I… You mean mastrubating?’ _ Thancred felt a bit squeamish by the idea.  _ ‘I don’t know…’ _

Lahabrea nodded, glancing down at the tent rising underneath their robes and pants.  **‘Would you like to do it yourself, then? Or would it be okay to leave it alone?’**

Thancred considered Lahabrea’s options, sighing softly. He couldn’t see outside or feel his body at the moment, but he could take Lahabrea’s word for it all, he figured. And it was kind of a relief, to know Lahabrea seemed to be taking the concept of consent seriously.  _ ‘... If I let you, I want you to do something for me too.’ _

Lahabrea was surprised.  **‘What would that be?’**

_ ‘I want to feel that again. What you did last night. I don’t need to feel my body or anything, just…’ _ Even admitting it felt good was embarrassing, let alone asking for it again, but the desire ached within him.

**‘You ask for so little, I nearly feel as if I’m cheating you,’** Lahabrea teased lightly. A strange warmth filled him as he enclosed his soul around Thancred’s, squeezing him gently. At the same time, he opened his robe, unbuttoning the pants to slip Thancred’s cock free.

It was far easier to summon the idea of pleasure this time, weaving it into Thancred’s edges like stars across skin. Thancred’s response was  _ immediate _ , voice soft and keening as he took in the sensation. At the same time, Lahabrea wrapped his hand around the cock in front of him, clumsily stroking it as he tried to mimic what Thancred had done last night.

_ ‘Gods, Urianger is right, I’m too easy.’ _ Urianger had always told him he was far too eager when it came to sexual endeavors. Thancred had usually brushed it off, since hey, he enjoyed what he enjoyed, it helped his casanova bard persona, and it could be a good way to get information sometimes. And now he’d asked an Ascian to fondle his soul in exchange for allowing said Ascian to mastrubate in his body.

Lahabrea just chuckled, having no trouble splitting his focus. It was fascinating how Thancred’s body responded to the simplest of touches, just as responsive as its native soul. He groaned softly at the pleasurable sensations and rolled his hips into his hand. At the same time, he caressed Thancred, feeding into his pleasure and, in turn, Lahabrea’s own.

It echoed in Lahabrea’s mind, and he tried to reach for it, back, back to… to something he couldn’t recognize. There was something so familiar about it, something that made him want to bury his face in the neck and graze his teeth along something so fragile and sweet. To feel the touch their bodies, slipping against one another…

Lahabrea gasped as a shrill bird call snapped him back to his senses. He wasn’t sure where his mind had gone, so deep down into an unfamiliar place. He had no memory of such things, yet he knew the dive had been distinctly into his own mind, rather than any thought of Thancred’s. Thancred seemed oblivious to Lahabrea’s daze, still shivering and whimpering from the sensations.

**‘Perhaps we should return you further to your former state. There may be a reason your soul held so tightly to physical form, out of inability to handle such sensations,’** he told Thancred.

Thancred was able to at least return his concentration at the sound of Lahabrea’s voice.  _ ‘Probably, there’s no… Physically we’re limited by orgasm. I’m not sure there’s limits to this.’ _

Lahabrea let up on the impressions of pleasure, instead squeezing Thancred within.  **‘Draw yourself in, centered and strong.’**

Thancred laughed.  _ ‘I don’t feel very strong at the moment.’ _ Still, he focused on himself, trying to shake off the last of the pleasure. He pictured himself coming down from something that might’ve put him in that state to begin with.  _ ‘Can you… Gods, I hate myself. Can you hold me tighter?’ _

Lahabrea was amused at that, but did as asked. He didn’t bother poking fun this time, figuring it’d just be a distraction.

Thancred sighed, letting the heat leech from him.  _ ‘... If that state was like after thorough sex, you could compare this to aftercare. Aftercare is… Well, kind of exactly what it sounds like. Care after sex.’ _

**‘So after I make a mess of you, I take care of you and make sure you’re alright?’** Lahabrea teased softly. He continued to stroke their cock, slow and steady.

_ ‘Shut up,’ _ Thancred grumbled as he felt himself calm and center.

With a hum of interest, Lahabrea let up some of the pressure. Rather than return to a bodily form, it seemed Thancred was content with a simpler form.  **‘Did you mean to settle into a more spherical shape?’**

Thancred paused.  _ ‘I didn’t think about trying to form any sort of body shape, if that’s what you’re asking. Do souls really have shapes and such? They’re not physical, right?’ _

**‘Not in the same way as a body, no.’** Lahabrea hummed, trying to think of how to explain it.

_ ‘So… like ghosts?’ _

Lahabrea paused.  **‘That’s… actually probably the closest concept you mortals have to the true nature of souls. Aside from us Ascians, now that I think about it. You know how you cannot see or touch us when we aren’t possessing bodies? We’re pure soul. Like ghosts.’**

_ ‘So every mortal is actually just a ghost with a body,’ _ Thancred muses, seeming amused by the concept more than actually taking it seriously.  _ ‘Seriously though, souls have physical form, they just exist on a different plane, I guess?’ _

**‘Exactly. That is why we can touch like this, but you can’t see or touch an Ascian when we don’t have a body.’** Lahabrea was amused by how quickly Thancred had picked it up.  **‘It’s cute, how you grasp at the concepts like a child learning numbers.’**

Thancred huffed.  _ ‘Shut up. I’m not a child. It’s not my fault you Ascians think you know everything. Which you obviously don’t, considering I’m the one teaching you about sex.’ _

**‘Touche. I’m not sure how to finish this, by the way. I’ve been copying your motions, but it would seem I’m not quite as… skilled as you.’** Lahabrea shifted in his position.

Thancred considered the situation.  _ ‘If thoughts of something might help, there’s something that never fails to make me cum.’ _

**‘If you remember it vividly enough, there’s certainly a chance.’**

Thancred concentrated as best he could and thought back, to one more recent incident with someone that he could recall the best. Someone kneeling between his legs, face turned toward his thighs rather than his groin.

Lahabrea felt his breath hitch as he took in the memory. The memory of teeth digging into Thancred’s thighs made their shared body burn and Lahabrea moan. Lahabrea moved his hand faster, and the pleasure soon washed over him in sweet relief. He was careful to aim away, so that they wouldn’t make a mess of their clothes yet again. White splattered on the ground in front of them.

Lahabrea caught his breath, then chuckled softly.  **‘You have strange tastes.’**

Thancred huffed.  _ ‘You wanted help, I shared something my body likes.’ _

Lahabrea shrugged and tucked the cock away, cleaning himself up.  **‘As much as I enjoyed that, I suppose I must actually go visit Van Baelsar, lest he have a fit or something of the sort.’**

_ ‘Oh no, you have to put effort into your plans, poor you.’ _

Lahabrea ignored him in favor of teleporting away from the cliff and back to the Praetorium, just outside of the office Van Baelsar was using at the moment. He took a moment to tug his hood up, shrouding their face, before opening the door and stepping inside.

Van Baelsar looked up from his papers. “You took your time, Ascian,” he growled in clear annoyance.

“I do occasionally have more important things to do than speak with you,” Lahabrea said.

_ ‘Yea, I can’t blame you for wanting to jack off more than hear this guy’s voice. He sounds almost as full of himself as you do.’ _

Lahabrea resisted the urge to roll his eyes. It seemed Thancred was in a petulant mood now, perhaps emboldened by their recent interactions. What a brat. Lahabrea ignored him for now.

Gaius let out a huff of annoyance, but didn’t argue with Lahabrea. “The city-states of Eorzea seem to be mobilizing their forces, though we know not to what end. Your puppet wouldn’t happen to know anything, would he?”

_ ‘Hmph, why would I know? Not as if I’ve been talking to them. Or you, since your cover was blown.’ _

**‘I swear, the man is both a genius and an utter moron,’** Lahabrea thought in agreement. “Had you not gone and captured the Scions despite my successful infiltration, I might have been able to find out,” Lahabrea pointed out.

“Lest you forget,” Van Baelsar pointed out testily, “You were the one who decided to reveal yourself upon their escape.”

Thancred scoffed.  _ ‘Oh, because my absence wouldn’t have been suspicious at all, all things considered.’ _

“If I were to keep my cover, I would have had to participate in breaking them free, lest they wonder where their dear rouge was during the ordeal,” Lahabrea said, using Thancred’s own logic. “And then you would be upset with me for doing so. Truly, this is your own fault. Was that all you wanted?”

Val Baelsar sighed. “With Ifrit, Taitan, and Garuda’s essences, the Ultima Weapon is ready, yes?”

“Yes. You have all you require, you need only make whatever final preparations you must to invade,” Lahabrea said smoothly. “Whatever their plans, you are capable of quashing them.”

Thancred went quiet and still within upon Lahabrea’s statement. Lahabrea felt a bit exasperated at that.  **‘So petulant, until the defeat is made clear to you. Accept your fate, and that of those around you. Or do you believe you can somehow fight it still?’**

_ ‘The Scions will stop you,’ _ Thancred told him stubbornly.  _ ‘They will. Your plans will fail, yours and Van Baelsar’s.’ _

“Good. Then that is all I need of you, Ascian” He nodded to Lahabrea before turning his seat away, focusing on some more of his papers.

Lahabrea turned and walked out, grumbling in annoyance. Great. Not only had Van Baelsar been pointless and annoying, but he’d also ruined both Lahabrea and Thancred’s good moods.

_ ‘... Why. Why do you want to destroy everything we’ve worked so hard for? Wasn’t Dalmund enough?’ _

Lahabrea sighed. He didn’t answer at first, simply walking back to their room. It gave him some more time to think on what to say. He closed the door quietly behind himself and sat on the bed.

**‘... No answer I could ever give you would be enough. We must cause these Calamities to reach our end goal.’**

_ ‘How many?!’ _ Thancred’s anger lashed out at Lahabrea like a whip.  _ ‘How many Calamities, how many must die before you are satisfied?!’ _

**‘... Thirteen. No more, no less. Thirteen, and we will have succeeded.’**

Thancred’s anger became wordless, clawing fruitlessly at Lahabrea’s presence around him. Lahabrea allowed him to thrash and rage, absorbing his fruitless struggles with ease. It was impossible for a mortal to truly understand why they were doing this, especially if he was already so furious.

Thancred didn’t know how long he was there, blinded by his rage and wishing desperately he could break free to warn the Scions. He knew just as well that it was pointless, but even a fruitless struggle was better than simply accepting it. How, how could he have ever let himself  _ enjoy _ what was happening? It made him sick.

Little by little, Lahabrea let Thancred tire himself out. Then he soothed over Thancred’s soul.  **‘Please, rest yourself. Such fitful rage… It’s pointless, Thancred.’**

_ ‘Shut up!’ _ Thancred shoved back against the touch, repulsed.  _ ‘You tell you you wish to cause eight more Calamities, eight more times of chaos and disaster and death, and you want me to simply roll over and accept it?! Never! Nothing could ever be worth the lives of so many, nothing!’ _

Lahabrea sighed. There was nothing for it. He wove his magicks into gentle sleep, pressing it upon Thancred and, after a few moments, he passed into dreamless sleep. It left Lahabrea alone with his own thoughts.

For the first time he could remember, Lahabrea felt guilty for it. There was no doubt within him- What they were doing was what needed to be done, but watching someone express so much pain and rage, to feel it from them in such an intimate way, it was impossible to simply ignore. Perhaps, once they’d succeeded, once everything was whole again, he would understand. Then again, by that point, he wouldn’t remember. His soul would be whole, but his memory of this life would be gone. Did it truly matter, then, how hurt Thancred was, so long as the Paragons completed their work?

Lahabrea didn’t have an answer. Once upon a time, he might’ve said no, of course it didn’t. They wouldn’t remember, after all, and what they did not know of could not cause them pain. These lesser beings, they were of no consequence, as broken and scattered as they were.

Perhaps Thancred was getting to Lahabrea more than either of them realized. Lahabrea supposed he could only decide what to do with Thancred once Van Baelsar’s plan was through. Whether that be keeping him, setting him free, or simply… killing him.


	3. Daring and Near Discovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter this time, and no sex, just some talk about how the body and soul work, and Thancred doing something more dangerous than he realizes. Whoops. Enjoy!

_ ‘So…  _ Is _ there a difference between mind and soul?’ _

**‘Yes, though the two coincide quite closely. There are subtle things that separate them, though.’**

_ ‘Like what?’ _

**‘The soul is… the natural state. It is the core of yourself, the very basis of who you are as a sentient being. Your mind is made up of your experiences and memory, shaped by the world around you.’**

_ ‘Ah, so it’s like nature versus nurture.’ _

**‘Hm?’**

_ ‘It’s a sort of scientific concept? Mostly theorizing on what influences us growing up, and which is more powerful, nature or nurture, which could be viewed as soul and mind respectively. It’s used a lot in things like trying to understand criminal mindsets or gender roles. Like trying to figure out why a serial killer might do what they do. Is there something wrong with them by nature, or was it something in their nurturing that influenced them growing up?’ _

**‘You mortals are strange.’**

Lahabrea sighed as he leaned back, closing his eyes. The two of them hadn’t addressed the argument about the Calamities yet. Thancred had thoroughly ignored him for a time, before starting to prod at Lahabrea again to be taught like they promised. Lahabrea knew Thancred was wheedling information from him, though to whatever meaningless end, Lahabrea didn’t know. It wouldn’t do him any good, no matter, so Lahabrea didn’t see the harm. And part of him felt as though he likely owed Thancred that much, at least.

He shifted himself within the vessel, adjusting his hold on the soul cradled within his own. Thancred had managed to return his soul to a slightly less rigid state, allowing himself to lean into Lahabrea’s movements.

_ ‘I guess it doesn’t really make a difference. You generally can’t separate the mind and soul, not for us mortals at least.’ _

Thancred nearly jumped as he felt a sudden bolt of… something run through Lahabrea, strong enough to for Thancred to sense in spite of Lahabrea shielding himself. He couldn’t place the emotion specifically, but it was overwhelmingly negative.

_ ‘Or… perhaps you can.’ _

**‘It’s… No, you’re correct. Not just for mortals. The mind and soul are seperate, but you cannot part them with anything less than death.’** A shudder ran through Lahabrea this time, tamer, but no less negative.  **‘It is possible, however, for the mind to be… Wait, let me take a few steps back. The mind and the soul, and their constancy.’**

_ ‘Well… From the sound of it, the mind changes a lot, because it’s the one built on our experiences, while the soul doesn’t change, or at least, not as much as the mind does.’ _

**‘You have the gist of it.’** It was fascinating how intuitive Thancred was about the subject. It was almost as if Lahabrea was not so much teaching him as  _ reminding _ him, leading him down familiar paths of knowledge. It made Lahabrea wonder who he had once been, in Amaurot, who he would become once more when the Paragons’ work was finished.

Thancred hummed, turning the information over in his mind.  _ ‘So… If our experiences are what shape our minds, what can cause a change in our souls?’ _

**‘It requires an experience of great significance. Something that shapes your very being. Typically they are not grand changes. Perhaps a great negative event creating a new phobia, or something of the sort. Someone’s actions affect you in such a significant way they change your entire outlook, perhaps. An experience that creates a deep-seated desire within you.’**

_ ‘I… think I understand.’ _ Thancred resisted the urge to make some comparison to the Calamities. But that did make him think.

Natural disasters affected their world often enough. Floods, tornadoes, earthquakes, they caused damage, but more often than not, the world recovered in time, returning to its usual self. A Calamity, however, changed the world as they knew it, such was the magnitude of their devastation.

If the Calamities’ effect on their planet could be compared to major events changing a soul, what did that say about the Ascians’ efforts to cause calamities?

Thancred had no idea. He had to concede that it was likely an ineffectual path of inquiry anyway, formed entirely from a comparison of his own that might not even be accurate in the slightest. It was frustrating.

Thancred was no fool. He knew that this contact, this situation was causing him to grow a fondness for Lahabrea in some capacity. It was out of his control. He still felt no warmth for the rest of the Ascians, and he held faith that his desire to protect those he loved would be stronger, but it was still quite bothersome. He hoped it would fade when he was free, but there was no guarantee of that in the first place, now was there? He had faith the Scions would defeat Lahabrea and Van Baelsar, but his own safety and survival was far from assured. He supposed he’d have to worry about it later.

Lahabrea carefully laid their body down, drawing the covers up over them. His touch smoothed over Thancred’s soul, but there was no heat behind it, no desire. Thancred leaned into it, feeling a bit like he was being pet. It didn’t bother him as much as it probably should have.

_ ‘Tell me, Lahabrea… When you aren’t executing your plans, what do you do? Like… to relax, for fun?’ _ Thancred wasn’t sure what compelled him to ask, but he was curious.

**‘There is never a time we are not executing our plans besides resting. Our goals are too important for that.’**

_ ‘So… you never relax. You never have fun?’ _ By the gods, what was  _ with _ this Ascian. Surely it just had to be him, right? Or did all the Ascians truly do nothing but pursue their incomprehensible goals?  _ ‘It sounds like a miserable existence, if you ask me.’ _

Lahabrea wanted to bite back, but he had nothing. How could he ever impress upon Thancred the urgency and importance of their goals? He would not understand, and Lahabrea didn’t have the energy for another argument. He felt strangely tired as of late, and wondered if Thancred had anything to do with it. Perhaps. He would need a good, measured rest when he was done.  **‘You don’t understand. And there is no viable way for me to help you to do so.’**

Thancred leaned into Lahabrea, noticing the sheer exhaustion rolling off of him. Perhaps he had an opportunity here. But Thancred preferred to make sure Lahabrea would be unlikely to wake. So he mentally nudged the other.  _ ‘Perhaps I can give you something, then. For when you get the chance to relax and enjoy yourself.’ _

Lahabrea perked some in curiosity.  **‘And what could you, a mortal, possibly give me, a Paragon?’**

_ ‘Something to remember,’ _ Thancred replied simply.

Thancred summoned the memory, one of his favorites, and one that never failed to make him sleepy. It would be difficult to resist this time, but he had enough control over himself to do so, he figured.

The crackle of a dying campfire and the scent of charred wood filled Lahabrea’s senses as he took in the memory. Gradually, his vision blossomed into a pitch night sky, thousands of stars glittering into existence, one by one. It was warm from the sleeping bag, and surprisingly comfortable at that- a touch further prodding told Lahabrea that Thancred had been camping in the desert at the time, and must’ve found a particularly comfortable patch of sand.

It made Lahabrea feel even more tired than before, but it was in a pleasant, comfortable way, the kind that made him want to simply curl up and doze. While Lahabrea had felt many kinds of exhaustion before, from working himself to the quick or staying active too long or simply pushing his mortal vessel to its limits, this was far different from anything he could comb from his memory.

This was the exhaustion of a satisfying day’s work, the sleepiness of being comfortable and, presumably, safe, if Thancred letting his guard down so much at the time was anything to go by. It was the appreciation of a beautiful night, and of knowing one’s place under its sky.

**‘... Thank you.’**

It fascinated Lahabrea, this feeling. How could a mortal achieve such a state of peace, of comfort? These beings, he did not understand… Their world was filled with strife and pain and sin, and yet they were capable of such warmth. Lahabrea felt so tired.

Thancred felt Lahabrea’s consciousness slip away, while Thancred himself managed to remain awake, despite the loving pull of sleep. There was something he needed to do, first, something he needed to know.

Carefully, Thancred concentrated on pushing in. He recalled the sensation of when Lahabrea partook of Thancred’s memory and tried to recreate it, but in reverse. He needed to know why.

_ ‘Why are you like this?’ _

Suddenly, Thancred felt as if he were plummeting. Falling, faster and faster, deeper and deeper into some unknown abyss that seemed to be pitch black, but grew darker, darker still. And in the corner of his eye, he could see something, something terrible. Dark crystal creeped over him, until he couldn’t see, he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think-

And then his vision snapped into place. A man in a black robe stood in front of him. His mask was different, as was his voice, from Lahabrea’s. “You mortals have that saying… curiosity killed the coeurl. You should heed it.”

_ “What? Who- Who are you, where am I?” _ Thancred looked around, only seeing the void. There was still adrenaline and fear pulsing through his being.

“It matters not who I am. But I know who you are. You are quite smart, I will give you that, but you have no idea what you have delved into.”

Thancred grit his teeth.  _ “Then perhaps you should tell me, if you’re so concerned,”  _ he bit.

The Ascian laughed. “He always enjoyed your spirit. Even if he has forgotten, after all this time. I will warn you this once, mortal- if you wish to remain yourself, do not attempt what you just did again.”

Thancred was not satisfied with the answer, but he had no say in the matter. He felt as if he were snapped back into place, within his body, with Lahabrea wrapped around him. He was not sure what had just happened, but it unnerved him deeply.

And then, a thought occurred to him. Had that Ascian… Had they  _ helped _ Thancred? But how? Being pushed back into place implied that Thancred had been  _ out _ of place to begin with. He’d only been trying to reach into Lahabrea’s memories, though, how would that displace Thancred himself?

Whatever it was, the experience alone, prior to the unfamiliar Ascian’s interference, had been terrifying, to put it plainly. Thancred settled in Lahabrea’s grip, allowing himself to rest, even if he was quite too unnerved to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OoOoO it's a mystery. You can probably guess some things about it, I'm not exactly trying to be subtle, lol, and some of it is just implementation of canon.


	4. A Shard of Soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah plot. Gotta love it! Or not really, I dunno, I'm not your boss. Hope you enjoy either way!

Lahabrea woke to find Thancred oddly quiet.

It was surprising enough to find him awake prior to Lahabrea himself, and there was an aura of exhaustion to him. **“Did you rest at all, Thancred?”**

Thancred was startled out of his reverie, concerning Lahabrea even more. _“Huh? Oh, guess not. It’s fine, I mean, I don’t exactly need the sleep. I’ve gone longer without, and the body is harmed more without sleep I would guess.”_

Something had happened. Thancred was a whirl of emotion just under the surface. Lahabrea nearly reached in, to find what was wrong, but he stopped. He could easily find out, but perhaps it would be better not to. **“Is something bothering you?”**

There was a long moment of quiet before Thancred responded. _“I’ll be alright.”_

The non-answer frustrated Lahabrea, and he considered simply finding out on his own, but… He didn’t wish to upset Thancred again, or distress him any further. **“Alright.”** He smoothed over Thancred’s soul, hoping to ease him.

Thancred shifted, laughing softly. _“Knock it off.”_

 **“You’re so sensitive. You know, I do think I prefer this to toying with your body.”** Lahabrea chuckled and traced over Thancred’s shapeless soul again.

Thancred couldn’t resist any of it, not really. It scared him, how easily he gave in now. _‘Imagine if you could do both,’_ he mused. _‘Not controlling my body, but outside it.’_

Lahabrea hummed softly, turning their body over to get comfortable again. **‘I don’t know. I quite enjoy things as they are now. Besides, I cannot imagine a body of my own, after all this time.’**

The statement gave Thancred pause. So Lahabrea did not consider his form when not possessing someone a body, perhaps, and most certainly had one at some point, long ago. Interesting. But why, then, did he seem to know so little about one aside from keeping it alive? _‘Perhaps just like the one you once owned, then? I imagine it would be suitable enough for such activities.’_

It was Lahabrea’s turn to pause upon hearing that. He didn’t recall what he’d looked like, once upon a time. Ascians had spent most of their time in Aumorot with identical robes and masks, after all, so that their differences would be minimized. The idea of a body of his own seemed almost alien. But at the same time, a familiar feeling tugged at him, and an image flickered in his mind’s eye- white hair, tucked away in an array of braids. Silver eyes that shimmered gold in the right light. A soft laugh, so warm and inviting.

And Emet-Selk’s scolding. “I warned you not to get involved,” he’d said.

But when? When had he said that, and why?

 _‘La… Lahabrea?’_ Thancred was somewhat worried by the silence, and by the raging turmoil he could feel just beneath the surface of Lahabrea’s soul, just beyond whatever kept the border between their two beings. _‘Did I remind you of something ill?’_

Just as suddenly as it came, however, the vision faded away, leaving Lahabrea grasping for it. **‘... It’s alright,’** he finally replied. **‘I’m not sure, really. My memory is… not as clear as my companions’, most days. We have existed for what could feel like an eternity.’**

Thancred reached out. He recalled a memory of hands placed upon his cheeks and pressed it upon Lahabrea, an attempt to comfort in what little ways he knew how in this state. _‘I see. You sound rather tired. Perhaps it would be best if you rested. If you put it all aside, all of these goals and Calamities and such, and took care of yourself...’_ He had to try. Any chance to lessen the Ascian threat, and… if he was being honest with himself, his suggestion was, at least in part, made from genuine concern.

Lahabrea sighed, long and suffering and exasperated. But he couldn’t find it within himself to be angry with Thancred for attempting this again. He… understood it. As small and frail and broken as they were, many of them cared so deeply for those similar broken and flawed spirits around them. **‘Thancred… That simply isn’t possible. It is His will that we fight, that we continue on. And even if it were not, we… We could not. You will not see the outcome of it all, it is beyond your lifetime, beyond any of your mortal lifetimes, but whether you chose to believe me or not, our actions are not to destroy you mortals, but… to heal you.’**

Had he control of his body, Thancred would be shaking his head. _‘You’re joking. You must be. How much of a fool do you believe me to be?’_

Lahabrea held him close. How beautiful, this half-soul, how delicate and flawed and broken. How foolish, unable to see the larger picture. **‘In the end, it does not matter if you believe. And when our plans are finished, you will not remember. You will simply be whole.’**

_‘Won’t I be dead, by then?’_

**‘You will.’** This version of him, at least. Lahabrea refrained from telling him, though. It would be too much, for now. Instead, he caressed over Thancred’s soul. **‘If I could show you, I would, but it is beyond my ability, and your comprehension.’** He traced upon Thancred the sensation of warmth.

Thancred growled softly, frustration flooding him. _‘Fine. Don’t tell me.’_

He truly was adorable when he pouted, Lahabrea thought. If only things could be different. **‘Now don’t be that way.’**

Thancred groaned lightly as Lahabrea brushed over him once more. He seemed more than happy to distract Thancred through such teasing stimulation of his soul. And, to Thancred’s resignation, it was rather effective. There was simply no resisting a touch like that of souls, not for him, and it scared him a bit how easy it was to give in. But what could he do? Fighting it had done him no good, nor staying quiet and observing. And since showing him such pleasures, Lahabrea had never ceased his cradle of Thancred’s being.

But even still…

 _‘Lahabrea, please, stop,’_ Thancred eventually managed, taking all of his will to simply speak up.

Lahabrea’s attentions ceased. **‘Is something wrong?’**

 _‘This is. Allowing you to do this, offering to teach you, I’d thought I could use it against you. But I couldn’t. And more than that, I…’_ He’d left himself open, vulnerable, aching. _‘I can’t do this anymore.’_

 **‘... I see.’** Lahabrea withdrew. He was disappointed, but at the same time, it was difficult to be surprised. Their little arrangement was hardly a sustainable one, and had Thancred not stopped him now, he most certainly would when the Scions made their move against him, as they were bound to do eventually.

As if reading his thoughts, and alarm began to blare, making Lahabrea jolt up. He scrambled from the bed with little elegance and tugged on his black robe, yanking the hood up as Thancred tensed.

_‘What’s going on?’_

**‘We’ll have to find out.’** Lahabrea teleported them to near the top of the Castrum, perched atop an outlook. He recognized the alarm, at least- low level, mostly there to quickly get troops moving and prepared for something bigger. **‘If I had to guess, they’ve discovered that troops for the Eorzean Alliance are mobilizing.’**

There was a wave of satisfaction that washed over Thancred, grim and wary in spite of the good news. _‘Just give it up now, Lahabrea. They’ll beat Garlemald and they’ll take down your weapon.’_

Lahabrea sighed. Thancred clearly intended on fighting him through this, which left Lahabrea with a choice. **‘Thancred. Be still.’**

 _‘No,’_ Thancred bit back defiantly. _‘I can’t stop you, not on my own, but I won’t simply stand back while you try to cause yet more strife and death.’_

 **‘Then I will do as I must.’** He’d tried to give Thancred the chance. But even then, he likely would have done this anyway, so that he would not have to bear witness to what Lahabrea had to do.

Thancred felt that power close over him, and his dread grew as he realized Lahabrea’s intent. _‘Don’t you dare! Lahabrea-’_

**‘Shh… Whatever happens next, I cannot allow you to interfere, or to hurt yourself in a fruitless struggle.’**

Thancred’s emotions were a flurry of contradictory feelings mixing into a potent cocktail of panic, even as his mind grew dull and his sense of Lahabrea around him faded. _‘Damnit, you can’t…’_ was all he managed.

His last glimpse was a vision of that dark crystal, looming and overpowering. And then he was gone.

Lahabrea sighed, cradling that broken little soul within. This would end ugly no matter what. Either Lahabrea would have won and likely have killed at least one of the Scions, or he’d be freed upon his awakening. Or he would die.

No, Lahabrea decided. He would not allow Thancred’s death. If it truly came down to it, Lahabrea would sooner free Thancred than let him perish. Of that there was no question. So he focused his power within, wrapping it within Thancred, to serve two purposes. It would keep him anchored within, that way he would not be at risk of losing his body should Lahabrea be cast out. It also served to keep him contained, should things truly go wrong and Thancred’s body be slain. If that were to happen… Lahabrea would find a way to fix things, because it was not a fate he deserved, it was not a fate Lahabrea wished for him.

But it wouldn’t come to that. These Scions, and Garlemald, and all of Eorzea were doomed. Lahabrea had to doom them, in order to save them. It was the only way.

* * *

Thancred awoke alone.

Well, perhaps that was misleading. After all, he woke surrounded by people he knew and cared about. The Scions, the Warrior of Light, the leaders of the Alliance. All were there, and quite happy to see him.

But he was alone within his own body.

It had been blessedly easy to slip on the mask, to pretend everything was alright. He was truly grateful to be saved, and that Eorzea was safe for the time being. But being without Lahabrea felt truly alien, now.

Raubahn had been the first to confront him about it, if not the first to notice. And really, that wasn’t too surprising. Even if the rest of the Scions would likely leave him be if they realized something was wrong at all, Raubahn wasn’t the type to avoid such things, and he’d become quite good at seeing past Thancred’s act.

“Something is eating you,” Raubahn had said upon getting him alone one evening. They were within his private quarters, having just gone over some planning for the Flames working with Alphinaud’s new planned Grand Company. “Care to share?”

For a few moments, Thancred considered brushing it off. But… this was Raubahn. He had earned Thancred’s trust time and again, and was far from judgemental. “Only if you promise you will not share with anyone, not even Minfillia. And try not to question my sanity _too_ much,” he added, only half joking.

Settling back in his chair, Raubahn nodded. “You’ll hear no judgement from me.”

Thancred sighed, folding his arms over his chest. Shame filled him before he could even speak. “... I miss it. I miss being possessed.”

Raubahn raised a brow. “I’ll admit, I didn’t expect to hear that. But I assume there’s a reason for it.”

Thancred rubbed a hand over his face. “I’ll… start from the beginning.”

Raubahn listened patiently, expression carefully neutral as he took in Thancred’s story. Thancred told him of the intimacy, of the experiences of the contact of souls, of sharing memories and trying to convince Lahabrea to cease, and of how Lahabrea eventually knocked him out. By the time he was done, he felt utterly exhausted.

Raubahn watched Thancred for a few moments before standing and stepping over to the cabinet. “I think we both need a drink,” he stated, placing a cup in front of Thancred.

Thancred chuckled softly. “Thank you.” He took a sip of the wine after it was poured and Raubahn sat down. “It’s… a lot. You know how, if you stretch a shirt out, it doesn’t fit right anymore? My body feels like that. As if it was a shirt that fit perfectly prior, but Lahabrea stretched it out.”

“I see. And you’re a rather tactile person to begin with, so that sort of intimacy would certainly affect you deeply.” Raubahn sighed. “I’m honestly not sure what you should do. And some of what he apparently told you worries me…” Raubahn sipped at the wine, looking pensive and thoughtful.

“You’re telling me.” Thancred sighed. “And it’s not as if I can say any of this to the other Scions. I don’t want them questioning whether or not I’ll be able to continue our work.”

“... _Will_ you, though?” Raubahn’s expression was troubled.

Thancred sighed, a bit annoyed. It was a justified question, really, just not one he cared for. “Yes,” he replied firmly. “The experience has left me troubled, but if nothing else, it has made me more resolved. Clearly the Ascians believe what they are doing is right, and that they will not stop, which means I cannot either.”

Raubahn nodded. “Good. I do not envy your situation, but your commitment is clear. You’ve never given me reason to doubt before, and you still haven’t.”

It was reassuring to hear Raubahn say so, because Thancred didn’t always feel his resolve was so solid. He couldn’t stop, though, he had to be there for the Scions, for Minfilia, to continue what Louisoix had given his life for. He would learn to live with this as with everything else he had endured thus far.

Thancred didn’t linger with Raubahn for much longer, both needing to rest after the long day. And getting it all off his chest did help at least somewhat, Thancred found. Allowing someone else to know, it made it all more real, more solid, but also assured him that even if the ways he was feeling were concerning, they were understandable and valid.

Thancred sighed, running a hand through his hair. He should just get some rest.

* * *

Lahabrea groaned softly as he felt himself settle, pain reverberating through his soul at being so violently ripped from his host. He’d half been expecting it, but it was still an unpleasant experience, to say the least. He drew himself up in his mockery of mortal form, shrouded in his familiar black cloak, to see Elidibus standing there.

“So,” Elidibus started without preamble, “you have failed.”

Lahabrea felt himself bristle in the aftermath of pain and humiliation. “Don’t state the obvious, it’s tiresome. If you wish to scold me, simply do so.”

Elidibus tilted his head, seeming to consider him, before turning away. “We must needs discuss your future approach later. For now, rest, and regain your strength. Emet-Selk has returned as well, and you both will be needed for the coming age,” he said.

Lahabrea growled softly before turning sharply and stalking down the hall. Somehow, being told to rest felt even worse than the prospect of being berated. But fine, if Elidibus wanted him to leave, he would leave. There was something he needed to check anyway. The Praetorium had been in ruins, and with Lahabrea being so suddenly and roughly cast out, Thancred’s body would likely be weak, meaning his escape would be in question. Lahabrea needed to make sure Hydalen’s damned mage at the very least protected him-

Lahabrea’s movement and mind both stopped sharply as he rounded a corner, coming face to face with Emet-Selk himself. 

Emet-Selk paused, considering him in cursory surprise. “Ah, Lahabrea. You seem in rather a hurry. Are you off somewhere?”

“I just need to check something,” Lahabrea replied, shifting around him so that he could keep going.

“Your former host?”

Lahabrea was stopped in his tracks, turning around sharply to face Emet-Selk again. “What?!”

Emet’s gaze was inscrutable. “He’s alive, if you must needs know. You were out for some time. Hydalen’s chosen carried him from the wreckage on some mech he and his allies repurposed.”

Relief swept through Lahabrea in spite of himself. Thancred had made it out alive. But still he gave pause. “Why do you know that? You must be tired yourself, losing your own host after so many years.”

“Many for a mortal, sure, but not many within the context of our existence. I was just about to rest myself. As you should be doing as well.” Emet-Selk sighed. “... I checked because I know you, Lahabrea.”

“What? It’s not as if I’ve cared about my hosts’ fates before. Or even now,” he hastily added. “It’s simply important to know whether I have fully lost a valuable pawn.”

To Lahabrea’s surprise, all he could feel from Emet-Selk now was _pity_. “You and I both know that is a lie, and a rather poor one at that,” Emet said softly. “You may not have cared for your hosts before, but you have always…”

“... I have always _what_?”

Emet-Selk considered him a moment longer before sighing. “Never mind. It is not important now. Come, you know of his fate, now we should both rest. There is much to be done still,” he said, turning around and proceeding down the hall.

Lahabrea stared after him, and there again was that sensation of an echoing within his mind. But whenever he reached back, to take hold of the cause, it slipped between his fingers as so many grains of Thanalan sand. Emet-Selk knew something, his memory was as perfect as it always was, as it always would be, but whatever he knew, he seemed unwilling to say. And that pity, it only made Lahabrea angry. What right did Emet-Selk have to pity Lahabrea, playing with his own sandcastle empires in all of these years?

Just as quickly, though, Lahabrea felt himself deflate. This was pointless, and he was exhausted. So long as Thancred had been retrieved safely from that burning wreckage… That would be enough for now. It had to be.

Lahabrea shuffled after Emet-Selk, lying opposite to him and folding his hands over his stomach. He was suddenly reminded of something he’d once said to Thancred. “We have lost our bodies, and yet we retain this mockery of mortal form.”

“We… Yes. T’is something akin to reflex, I would assume,” Emet replied.

“He did so as well,” he murmured. “But he learned, with a guiding hand.”

Emet sat up again, shifting to lean over Lahabrea some. “What do you mean?”

“We… came to an agreement, to teach one another about a few things. But I felt as if I were reminding him more than anything else. It makes me wonder who he was, before.” Lahabrea sighed, closing his eyes. He held that memory in his mind’s eye, the treasure given to him by Thancred of a desert night.

Emet raised a brow. “... You’re far more lucid than you usually are. Do you recall..?”

Lahabrea sat up some to look at Emet with a frown. “Do I recall what?”

Looking pensive, Emet-Selk spoke cautiously. “Do you recall when you first met that man..?”

Lahabrea considered him. “... If you are asking that, I would assume the first time was not mere weeks ago upon the Thanalan sands.”

Emet-Selk sighed. “No. No, it was not. The first time you met _Thancred_ , perhaps, but…” He shook his head. “It’s in the past. We must keep moving. I just note that… You’re always the most lucid, the most… _you_ after interacting with him.”

Lahabrea watched Emet-Selk lay back down, effectively ending the conversation. Even as he himself lay as well, Lahabrea wondered about it. Had he met that little shard of soul in the past? Emet seemed to believe so.

His memory… Lahabrea knew his memory had never been the best. In Aumoraut, his study had been filled with journal upon journal of his studies, everything written down for the sake of not forgetting it. So what was he forgetting now? And why was Emet-Selk so seemingly against telling him?

There was nothing to be done about it, really. He simply needed to rest, and he let the cool desert warmth and crackling fire fill his mind and soothe his soul.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (The next chapter will have more smut I promise)


End file.
